The Campaign
by Risknight
Summary: A rook, a round of paintball and an imagined affair. Somehow it all adds up to Shenny.


**I do not own the Big Bang Theory or it's character's. Which is probably a good thing. If I did, the show would be shown at midnight on Showtime due to all the graphic Shenny nudity. It would make True Blood look like a kid's program at bible camp. Seriously, Sheldon wouldn't even OWN pants.  
**

The Skirmish

Sheldor looked across the battlefield at his enemy. She sat bravely on her grey steed. Her hair hung loose around her face, as wild and untamable as she, herself, was. Even from here he could see the thirst for battle in her eyes. Sheldor felt a tingle of anticipation shoot up his spine. This had been a long and hard fought campaign. Now here they were for the final battle. Both sides had suffered devastating loses.

His attacks had been precise. Strategic. Her attacks were those of a guerrilla. Chaotic, unpredictable, yet effective. The barbarian queen had moved swiftly over the lands, attacking the outer edges and making her way inward in small increments. He hadn't even noticed her small victories in the beginning. His mind had been focused on overthrowing the entire land. He had not considered the small horde before him a threat. Yet here they were. She now commanded a larger army. One big enough to be a threat.

Sheldor looked at his men. They were tired. They had been with him from the beginning. Fatigue and old wounds were starting to catch up with them. Sheldor closed his eyes briefly. He was no longer confident of victory. He called for formation. This was it. His last stand.

Sheldon looked at Penny. He moved his knight and waited.

Penny looked away from the tv and pushed her rook across the board. "Checkmate."

Howard, Leonard and Raj burst out laughing and Penny shushed them. "Hush. Ninth doctor. No interrupting."

Sheldon leaned back against the couch crossly and looked at his neighbor in the armchair. She truly was fascinating.

**(Before I get questions, Penny beat Leonard at chess once. It's feasible she could beat Sheldon too. An inexperienced player is hard to defend against. They have no real strategy. Her unpredictability could cause Sheldon to flounder in a game if he cannot anticipate her moves. Granted, the odds are not in her favor, but it's my story, and Penny wins.)**

The War

Sheldon hunkered down behind the tree and tried to catch his breath. His mind whirled as he considered the situation. He was separated from the rest of the group. He was low on ammo. He was being stalked by Winkle's team.

Sheldon heard a rustle of leaves to the left and raised his paintball gun. A flash of gold caught his eye and he relaxed. Seconds later Penny crouched by his side.

"Where are the others?" he asked in a soft whisper.

Penny's eyes blazed. "Cowards, the lot of them. Leonard ran for the parking lot and got taken out by the geology guys. Raj and Amy took off through the tree-line and Nowitzki got them. Kripke and Winkle took out Howard, Bernadette and Alex."

Sheldon looked into her hazel eyes. "So we're all that's left?"

Penny nodded. "Yeah, but I have a plan. You took out the other geek from the geology department and the Asian dude, and I killed off the other geology guy and the two that were talking about the new Star Trek trailer when we got here. That leaves Winkle, Kripke and that little bitch Ramona."

Sheldon looked at Penny with surprise. She shrugged. "She kept you away from me. From us. I still haven't forgiven her."

Sheldon felt a bit flustered, but happy. Of course he always felt that way around Penny anymore.

Penny handed him her spare cartridge and waited for him to reload. "Here's what we're going to do. I can smell Bitch's perfume to the right. I'm sure you've already heard Kripke's movements to the left."

Sheldon nodded. "They are trying a classic pincer movement."

Penny nodded. "Winkle is most likely near the ditch in case we make a break for it."

Sheldon nodded again. "We're completely cut off."

Penny grinned a fair imitation of his Joker grin. "So we go over them."

Sheldon frowned. "How do we do that?"

Penny looked up. After a second Sheldon followed her gaze and smiled his own Joker grin.

XXXXXXXX

Penny and Sheldon grinned smugly to each other as they ate their lunch. They could hear the others around them complaining and searching the rule book for a way to declare the win null and void.

"I still say hiding up in the twees was iwwegal!" Barry groused.

Ramona glared at Penny viciously. "I still don't see why _she_ was allowed to play anyway. She's not a student or faculty member!"

Leslie hated to lose, but she had to respect an inventive mind. "Shut it, Nowitzki. Dumbass and Barbie won fair and square." Leslie snuck a glance around the table. She decided to shake things up and see what floated to the top. "They make a good unit. Almost as if they were meant to be together."

She was rewarded with stunned looks from Leonard and Cooper's girlfriend Fowler. Everyone else just looked confused.

The Peace Treaty

Sheldon stared at his white board for over an hour. He couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with it. The door opened and he looked over. Penny stepped into his office and looked around.

"Hey, sweetie," she said. "Amy called and asked me to meet you two here. Isn't she here yet?"

Sheldon stood and shook his head. "I have not spoken to Amy today. Why would she ask you to meet her here?"

Penny frowned slightly and shook her head. "I don't know. She said it was urgent."

The door opened beside Penny and Amy and Leonard stepped inside. Penny smiled and moved to hug Amy, but Amy stepped away. Penny dropped her arms slowly.

"Amy?" she questioned softly.

Leonard cleared his throat and then looked back and forth between Sheldon and Penny. "We know about you two. We'd like to hear your side of the story."

Penny and Sheldon looked at each other in confusion. "What are you going on about, Leonard?" Sheldon finally asked.

Amy crossed her arms over her chest. "We are talking about you and Penny having an affair." She voice broke over the last word.

Penny looked at Amy in shock. "With who?"

Leonard looked at Penny with bewilderment. "What?"

"You said we were having affairs. With who?"

Amy huffed. "Don't act stupid! With each other!"

Penny's jaw dropped. Sheldon turned red and gasped. "Penny and I are not having any affairs! _Especially_ not with each other!"

Penny spun and glared at him. "Hey! You make it sound like I'm a troll!"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Nonsense. You're beautiful. The idea of us having an affair is ludicrous. Me and _you?_" Sheldon snorted wryly.

Penny planted her hands on her hips. "As if I would want you, either!"

Leonard pointed between them. "See, this is what we're talking about. The way you two are with each other!"

Sheldon turned to face Penny, ignoring Leonard and Amy. "Of course you wouldn't. I know that. That's why the idea is ludicrous."

Penny froze. "Wait, are you saying the only reason we wouldn't get together is because of me?"

Sheldon nodded. "Exactly. You would never be interested in me."

Penny looked at him curiously. "Why do you assume that?"

Sheldon frowned. "It's not an assumption. You have never shown the slightest interest in me."

Penny shook her head. "That's not true! I spent the first few months after we met trying to get your attention. Taking you shopping, putting Vicks on you when you were sick. I went to that stupid presentation of Leonard's because I knew you would show up. I wanted to make sure you didn't get into trouble, which backfired when you tried to blow up his head. Always making sure your burger was perfect! And …and that stupid fake cousin of yours! I pretended to believe your story! All so you would notice me."

Sheldon looked stunned. "I thought you did those things for Leonard."

Penny rolled her eyes. "How is taking care of you when your sick something for Leonard?"

Sheldon blushed slightly. "I thought you took care of me to make his life easier."

Penny placed her hand on his arm. "I take care of you to make _your_ life easier."

Sheldon threw his arms out. "Then why did you go out with _him_?"

Penny shrugged. "Because you didn't care. And he distracted me from you," she said softly.

Sheldon reached out and brushed his fingers down her cheek. "I cared. I still do."

Penny's eyes were round with wonder. "You do?"

Sheldon nodded shyly. "I've always cared, Penny. I just never thought you would want me."

Penny moved in close and laid her head on his shoulder. "I've wanted you ever since we met."

Sheldon wrapped his arms around her and sighed with contentment. "My Penny," he whispered.

Neither of them noticed the office door open and close. Amy and Leonard sat down on the two chairs in Leonard's lab. They were starting to realize what they had done. Their jealousy had made them imagine a secret affair. By confronting them, they had forced Penny and Sheldon to realize they actually _did_ care for each other.

"So, that's what shooting one's own self in the foot is like," Leonard said.

Amy nodded and brushed away the dampness under her eyes. She took a deep breath and looked at Leonard. "Now what do we do?"

Leonard hung his head and took off his glasses. "I don't know Amy. They don't love us. They love each other. Even if they never got together, I don't think Penny and I are salvageable."

"I know how you feel," Amy said. She stood to leave and paused. "Leonard?"

He looked up at her, a little dazed still.

Amy held out her hand. "I have two bottles of rum at my place. Want to go see how many drinks it takes for us to feel better?"

Leonard looked at Amy, surprised that he had never noticed how shiny her hair was before. She was actually very pretty. He smiled and took her hand. "I think I'd like that."

Amy and Leonard headed out of the building. They would need to reassure Sheldon and Penny they would be okay with how things turned out. Later. After they had some drinks. Maybe a lot of drinks.


End file.
